Anniversary Reflection

Today is my 27th Wedding Anniversary. And since yearly events like birthdays, anniversaries, new years, etc seem to be times of reflection, I was doing just that.

First of all, when I married, I thought it would be forever. Then after about 5 years, I thought it might be over. But the Lord had other plans, obviously, even though I never dreamed then that would be the case. My life is very different now from 27 years ago. The biggest difference is spiritually, of course. But if I look at a picture of my wedding party, besides both of our sisters, we do not talk to any of them. We still exchange Christmas cards with a couple of them, but the rest we have no idea where they are. Lives changes, people move on.

I could not even imagined then that my 2 kids would be all grown up, in college, with one married. And all the struggles and blessings it took to get them there. What will life be like in another 27 years if the Lord tarries? Now it's just hubby & me, and while we are still very much in love, it is a very mature love. One that we know will not go away because of our commitment to God and to each other. That's the way God created it to be. But what will we do with our lives, our time, our comings & goings?

Matthew 6:19-21 Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

1Timothy 6:9-12, 17-19 But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.

hmmm..... store up treasures in heaven.... pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.... instruct others to fix their hope on God.... do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share.... take hold of that which is life indeed - eternal life! AMEN!!

Fence Transformation

2 Corinthians 3:18 (New American Standard Bible)
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

These verses came to mind when I saw the progress as my back fence was being replaced. The first day, the old fence was torn down and the wood piled up to be burned. John 15:6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned.
Seeing the piles of wood reminded me of how my old deeds, ways of thinking and doing, decaying outer things are being stripped off and burned. And day by day I am being renewed from the inside out.

On the second day, I saw the new posts set - the foundation if you will - and a string plumb line hung - to ensure the fence would be straight. We have our foundation on the Rock - the Messiah Jesus to guide our way. As we trust in Him, He will set our paths straight as in Proverbs 3:5 - on course to the finish line.
2Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith;

On the third day, I saw that sections of the fence were completed. As the Lord works on us, it isn't an intant transformation. We have to submit ourselves to Him and release our will, so that His will may be completed in us. Romans 12:1-2 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

On the fourth day, the entire fence was complete and looking brand new. God already sees us that way, but of course, we will be totally complete when the Lord brings us home. Philippians 1:6 For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

And on the fifth day, the gates were replaced and everything was cleaned up. The gates remind me of protection. Keeping the good in and the bad out. Philippians 4:6-8 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

So as we dwell on these things, we guard our heart against worldly desires and allow God to transform us into His image by renewing our mind giving us His desires. I'll never look at my fence the same way again !!

Long time - no write

OK - I promise to keep up on this - I have so many thoughts, but no particular organization to them. And I am one that needs to keep reworking my words until I get them perfect. Or maybe I don't think I have anything profound to say, so I just don't say it. At any rate, that's pride talking and we know how God feels about pride! So here goes:

Since I last wrote - my daughter graduated from high school and started going to community college, my son got married in September, my grandmother in Florida went home to be with the Lord in October, I went to a Messianic Jewish conference in California in February, flew to a Miller family reunion in Chicago in May, and my last couple months have just flown by. I have been busy - some with ministry to others and doing the Lord's work, some with my own keeping up with household and life issues, some rest, and some planning ahead for near and longer term futures.

It seems like we just finished 2 weeks of street evangelism with Jews for Jesus for the Portland Rose Festival in June and now the next project is upon us! The Messianic Congregation we attend - Rehoboth Messianic - is hosting a Yovel Jubilee Outreach at Esther Short Park in Vancouver on August 5, 2007 (check out http://www.rehoboth-messianic.org/ and click on Events). I am in charge of publicity, as well as part of the dance team presentations, and helping hubby with a Jews for Jesus information booth and book table. So you can imagine there is alot to do to get ready.

In the middle of all this, we just bought a new truck - a Ford Ranger. And we are trying to sell the van, keeping up with a vegetable garden, having a fence replaced (by someone else-yeah!!), and helping our daughter get ready to move out (and dealing with the ensuing emotions, but that's a whole other post), as well as a myriad of other things! I need a vacation! Oh yeah - and trying to fit in some time off here and there so we don't go bonkers!!

Luckily my work isn't too stressful even though it is year-end processing and our big financial system is being replaced as we speak (or type as the case may be). So far, no overtime required - just a canceling (once again) of the November trip to Jews for Jesus Ingathering Conference in Northern California because that is the "go-live" date for the financial system.

Ok - so enough whining :) - I really do love my life and would not give up any of it. I am so blessed by God with a wonderful family, work, and ministry that I am overwhelmed with joy at times. I give Y'shua Jesus all the credit for giving my life such meaning for now and for eternity. To Him be the glory now and forever - amen!

Ft Lauderdale BYG

When Sheldon, and I and our daughter Erika, headed for Ft Lauderdale on the red-eye in March to join the Jews for Jesus Behold Your God Campaign for its final week, we had an idea of what to expect. After all, Sheldon & I had been on 2 campaigns before and we filled Erika in on all the tasks a behind-the-scenes assistant steward would be expected to do. But, as usual, the Lord had to switch things up a bit and teach us about flexibility!

We were met at the airport by a lady named Karen who was wearing not only a Jews for Jesus t-shirt, but also a red clown face and a big multi-colored wig. We knew we were in for an exciting time in Florida. After circling the airport for what seemed like a couple hours trying to find the other person she needed to pick up (and not even knowing what he looked like), we were brought to our first assignment, a kiosk right in the middle of a very Jewish mall! This kiosk had lots of free materials and not-so-free books and gifts, but they were just to draw people in. Our main focus was to get people to see the name, think about Jews for Jesus, and hopefully engage in constructive dialog.

People saw the name alright and cursed, stuck their tongue out, shook their heads, and even threw a soda at the booth. But for every person not happy about us, there were three others giving us thumbs-up, smiles, and encouraging words. We did have many fruitful conversations with unbelieving Jewish people who were really seeking. There is a hunger for God and we could see it in their eyes. We pray for all those we met and those who just walked by, because they need to know that the Jewish Messiah is ready to fill the longing of their hearts.

The Bible says some sow to plant the seed, others water, and still others reap the harvest. While our group did all three, it also felt like we were doing one more thing – PLOWING the soil! We felt we were being used of God to till the soil to make way for the Holy Spirit to work on people’s hearts. The Jews for Jesus branch has been in the area for over 20 years, but the leader, Stan Meyer, said he was grateful for the work the team members accomplished.

I Was There

I was still communicating online with that same lady as she began to tell me why she kept crying and did not want to hear about Jesus’ love for her. See, she grew up in a very abusive environment and felt that no one loved her. And to hear me say that God loved her made her angry and very sad.  She wanted to know how a loving God could allow her to go thru all that she did while growing up and if God really loved and cared for her, He would have stopped the abuse.  As she was telling her story, I felt like the Lord was allowing me to experience just a glimpse of His heart breaking and I began to weep with her.  Later that night, when I couldn’t shake my tears for her, the Lord gave me this love song – as if this was coming directly from Him to her.


Where were You when I was just a child, hurt and in so much pain
Was there a purpose to that life, what in the world did I have to gain?
Where was that love You say You have, when I had a broken heart
Why didn't You rescue me when You could have from the start?
And where are You right now, when I am trying so hard to see
What is Your Truth and Grace and why You say You love me?

My child, I've always been there right there by your side
My heart was there grieving for you and I cried and cried.
Yes, my child, I loved you then and I love you still
I know the things you've been through, but it wasn't in My will.

There are so many things that I can't explain now while you're on this earth
There is a purpose to your life, please come and experience your rebirth.
Believe in Me, Trust in Me and I promise to make things right
You'll live with Me forever now and in Heaven's bright.

I'll give you all that love and peace that you desire so
I'll never leave you or forsake you and I'll teach you so you'll know.
That this ugly world is just fleeting and a very temporary place
Your real home is in Heaven with Me gazing in my Face.

Why does it Hurt ?

Here is something I wrote after chatting with a lady online about Jesus.  She wanted to hear, but she starting crying and told me to stop telling her.  The next day, she had questions and wanted to hear more, but the same thing happened and she told me to stop.  This went on for about a week and my heart was just breaking as I kept praying for her to receive the Lord’s love and forgiveness in her heart.  This is a love letter that the Holy Spirit just poured out of me very quickly.  I emailed it to her and she cried more, but she said some of it was tears of joy.

Why does it hurt when I tell you the Truth from Above,
when all I want to do is make your life happy and free?
Why does it make you cry when I tell you of God's Love,
when all I want to do is show you is how wonderful it can be?

Why did God put His Truth and Love in my heart to share,
then bring someone into my life who needs Love and Healing?
Why would He overflow His Love in me and make me care,
if the person doesn't think all this Truth is very appealing?

I know that none of us deserves His Love and Mercy and Grace,
we are such unworthy creatures, rotten and sinful, cursing Him.
We do not deserve to be in Heaven, for in hell we won't see His Face,
we have turned and gone our own way, and saying we don't need Him!

But He knows all we've done and still has a heart of Love for us,
He washes us clean, makes us new, and sees us in a glorious Light.
He poured out His Love to us when His Son One who died for us,
And now He gives us eternal Life and room in His Glory Bright!

We can rejoice and live His chosen life with His Holy Spirit's power,
there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!
And even if we fail and sin, He is our Rock, our Fortress, and our Tower,
He'll bring us back to Him, for we are forever His children like precious Jesus.

Why does it hurt when I tell you the Truth from Above,
when all I want to do is make your life happy and free?
Why does it make you cry when I tell you of God's Love,
when all I want to do is show you is how beautiful it can be?

          

My Testimony

I was asked to give my testimony at an evening service at my church.  Here is what I said:

I did not go to church in my early years, but I did go to a vacation Bible school once as a child, and I was always fascinated with Jesus and the beautiful pictures in our big Holy Bible. In my teenage years, my mother got involved with a church and wanted my sister and I to both be involved in their youth group.  I was baptized as part of the membership requirements of her church and starting learning about things I did not really understand.  Being very inquisitive, I asked several questions, never got satisfactory answers and I did not feel very close to God.  Since the church was the only place I was allowed to see boys, I dragged my future husband along with me to the activities and he also was baptized.  However, soon after we got married, we fell away from that church after questioning the things they were teaching.  I didn’t know it at the time, but God obviously had His saving hand on me.  But I did  start to question everything in my life…why is God so limiting, why do we even need religion, why go to church at all?  So in my rebellion, I stayed away from anything and everything that had to do with God and went my own way, having fun (so I thought) getting deep into sin.  However, looking back, I can see how the Lord continued to be faithful to me during that time and was waiting ever so patiently for me to answer His call.

15 years ago, we moved our family to Oregon.  We wanted a fresh start and promptly dove into acquiring things that we thought would make us happy.  After a few years, I could say that I had a decent husband, 2 kids, 2 cars, a nice house and a good career.  But now what?  I wasn’t really happy and I kept thinking, “Is this all there is to life?  Have I become all I am supposed to be?  Isn’t there a higher purpose or meaning to live for?  Does God really care about me?”  The urge to seek the Lord returned and we started visiting a couple churches but again did not feel right about what they taught.  I was dissatisfied with churches in general, didn’t understand the difference in denominations, and I was confused about what the truth really was.  

A number of events happened that kept me searching for meaning in my life.  One Christmas, we visited an old friend in California.  She was still dabbling in the old lifestyle we left so many years ago.  She gave me a Christian book, saying that she received it as a gift, wouldn’t read it, and asked if I would take it.  I did, although I did not understand why I was so drawn to it in the first place.  A couple months later, some longtime friends said that they never wanted to see our family again after a minor disagreement and I was very upset about the situation.  Then my grandfather died and when I attended his funeral, it got me thinking about what happens to people when they die and specifically, what would happen to me and my family.   A little while later, my daughter was witnessed to by a friend from school and she asked me why we did not go to church.  I had no answer to give her.   Eventually I picked up the book my friend gave me and read it from cover to cover, pondering each and every page.

As I was still searching, I distinctly remember saying to myself that it would be nice to be able to study the Bible with someone at lunchtime, instead of having to go to a church on Sunday.  I work in downtown Portland and I saw some of my coworkers gathering up to go somewhere every Wednesday.  When asked where they were going, one of them mentioned Downtown Bible Class and asked if I would like to go.  God sent a perfect opportunity for me to continue to learn about Him.

At DBC, the Bible teaching was so clear and applicable to my life.  There I learned that I was definitely the sinner the Bible talked about, as Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"  and Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."   And Romans 10:9 says "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."  These are truths that I had never really heard or understood before coming to Downtown Bible Class.  Suddenly, it became clear.  There really was more to life than I had already experienced.  God does care for me very much and there was a higher purpose for me.  But first, I needed to recognize my sinful nature and my need for a Savior.  It was there that I fell in love with Jesus and I surrendered my will to Him.  I asked Him to take control of my life and make me the kind of person He wanted me to be.

As I started attending DBC every week, reading my Bible every day, and learning more, I knew that I had finally found what the Lord wanted me to be - a committed believer in His Son Jesus Christ and to grow in a relationship with Him.  We started attending SW Bible Church and I was so excited to find that it was a non-denominational church where the Bible was clearly taught.  Since then, my husband, Sheldon, and our 2 children came to know the Lord as well. As a family, we grew in our faith and obedience every day and we have enjoyed serving together in the various ministry opportunities the Lord has given us.

Remember my old friend in California?  She was amazed at the changes in my life and that of my family.  As I gave her the book back and told her to read it, I shared the gospel of God’s love to her.  After she watched The Ultimate Question video that explains how to have a relationship with God as He intended it to be, she gave her life to the Lord and now her son, her mother, and many of her friends have also given their lives over to the Lord.

The Lord gives me a burning desire to share His message of the free gift of salvation and the great joy and peace it brings with everyone I can.  He has given my husband and I a special heart for the Jewish people.  A verse that is very dear to us is Romans 1:16, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek."  The Lord has opened many doors to us in this area and we have been excited to serve with Jews for Jesus in various capacities for the last few years.  

The very first scripture I memorized is from Proverbs 3:5-6, that says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." What a joyful, wonderful, and adventurous path the Lord has laid out for me and I eagerly anticipate where He will lead next!

PS – the church I first went to when growing up was the LDS church (and my mom is still attending) and the book my friend gave me was “The Grace Awakening” by Chuck Swindoll